Mastering The Proximity Principle: How your network shapes who you become.
"Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future."
Who you spend time with isn’t just about networking for success; it’s about shaping your identity, habits, and vision of what’s possible.
When I was in 7th grade going into 8th grade I was a legit loser. I was in orchestra, I was constantly made fun of, selfish, unable to control my emotions, all the things that makes middle school suck — I was right in the middle of it. As I entered 8th grade, I wanted to change this. So all through 8th grade I payed attention to the kids who everyone liked and I was overwhelmed with jealously, how do I also get what they have. One thing I noticed all of them had was they played football. So going into high school I signed up for football — not just football I was going to be QB. During the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade, going to all the workouts I start to develop a new language, finally getting invited to things, and making friends because we struggled together.
Your environment shapes you, often without you realizing it. To become who you want to be, you need to place yourself in proximity to those who already embody that.
Once you lock in to this mindset, you can take control of your future. Because you learn the language of those you hangout with.
To get to where you want, look around and find the people you want to be like.
1: Audit Your Environment
Our daily surroundings aren’t neutral—they either pull us forward or hold us back. The beliefs, habits, and behaviors of those close to you shape you. Look at your current circle of influence and ask:
Are they pushing me to level up
Do they have the mindset I aspire to
If your group normalizes mediocrity, you will too. If they normalize high standards, you’ll rise to meet them. Growth comes when you’re around people whose actions challenge you to think bigger and act bolder.
2: Find Environments That Align with Your Future Self
Where are the people you aspire to be? For me they were at summer football workouts. Now they’re at industry events, in masterminds, and inside digital communities, like UXRUN. The key is identifying the places where their mindset and values are on display.
Think about:
The conferences they attend
The podcasts they listen to
The communities they engage in online
The books they read
Proximity isn’t luck—it’s intentional placement. If you want to become a greater version of yourself, you need to immerse yourself in environments that demand greatness. (What Greatness Demands Podcast Coming Soon)
3: Start Adopting the Habits
Habits are learned and you take and give your habits. If you spend time around people who prioritize personal development, innovation, and execution, you’ll start to adopt those same behaviors. If your environment is full of complainers and excuse-makers, you’ll pick up those habits too.
Practical actions:
Observe the key habits of those you admire (e.g., daily reading, consistent networking, disciplined work ethic).
Mirror their commitment to growth—by integrating behaviors that fit your journey.
Set higher standards for yourself based on what’s considered "normal" in your new environment. I’m thinking of doing a whole series on just setting hire standards and being obsessed.
When excellence becomes your new baseline, transformation is inevitable.
4: Earn Your Place in the Right Circles
You don’t get access to environments by simply showing up—you earn your place by adding value.
Above all else, do your job
While doing your job, find other areas of opportunity or problems that you can solve.
Add value by coming to the key players over those problems with solutions, not just addressing their problems.
This positions you as someone who contributes rather than takes. If you don’t dominate your job and solve other peoples you’ll look like an idiot. So make sure your house is in order, CRUSH your position. Add value to others. Build influence.
The Proximity Principle in Action
Audit your environment — Identify whether your current circle is shaping you for growth or stagnation.
Find future-aligned spaces — Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to become.
Adopt contagious habits — Let the best behaviors from those around you influence your daily actions.
Add value first — Earn your place by contributing meaningfully to others.
Embrace discomfort — Growth happens outside your comfort zone.
Become a leader — Build spaces where others can grow alongside you.
Who you are is a product of who you surround yourself with. By mastering proximity, you don’t just network—you transform.